What They See... | Jun 22, 2024 022

Tucker Martin (00:00)
So here's the deal, people are going to talk and say things about you or your situation no matter what you do. So we're going to dig into that a little bit here on the podcast today. So welcome to the Ranch Ramone podcast. This is the Cowboy Gals podcast. Whether you are the ranch mom, the ranch wife, cowboy gal,

wherever you fit in there. Girl at Heart, we're so glad that you're here and listening with us here. If you've been around, you've heard part of what I have been working on. We have just, Amy and I have partnered and we've just announced We are just about full our first Cowboy Gals retreat and...

It's been something super fun to work on. Now there is a part two of the big launch that's just not quite ready yet. But we are so so excited about this retreat and we are going to continue offering these And so if that's something you're interested in, again, get on my email list. So send an email to tmranchramblin at gmail .com or find me on my social media.

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I just want to kind of dive into this whole concept of... people always have something to say, right? People will talk about your situation, about your decision, about your circumstances, whatever that is. It seems like no matter what you do, it's kind of that damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of situation sometimes.

The hard part about that can be becoming okay with that within yourself. So something that's been on my mind a lot lately regarding this is...

You know, we don't know what's driven someone to a decision. We don't know their thoughts, their reasoning. We don't know their heart.

You know, we don't know their goals and deep desires and struggles and trials and all of those things behind the scenes. We don't know that. And it is not our place to know that. Now, if a person decides they want to share part of their story, then that's awesome. We can respect that. You know, we can listen to that thoughtfully and compassionately. And then, you know, attempt to have some...

some type of understanding rather than judgment. And I think that that's so important because...

If you flip it around and it's you being criticized or judged for being where you are in your life or making a decision or you know whether it's accepting or leaving a job or renegotiating the terms of a contract or you know a decision to grow your family or that your family is complete.

Whatever that is, that draws a lot of talk and a lot of outside nonsense. And ultimately, what matters is what you and your partner feel is best for your family. And so I'm going to talk like I'm talking to the women, but I know a lot of husbands listen on here. And so please just flip that around to match your situation. But what matters is that...

that you guys as a family, as a husband and wife, or if you're not married, you as an individual, you need to be okay with your decision. You cannot live with, you know, unrest or anger or turmoil or stress continually on your heart. And if you are, I really encourage you to step back and...

look at what's causing that discomfort and kind of identify that, identify your goals and where you want to go.

And you know, really just get clear on that direction and figure out your next step. And a lot of times our anxieties are caused by the lack of action or that kind of goes hand in hand with feeling trapped or feeling stifled. And if we're not able to live up to...

what we know we're capable of, this kind of, this is not in a prideful way, but like the standard we've set for ourselves, then that begins to feel kind of suffocating sometimes. And that's not a healthy way to live. And if you're feeling that way with your job or with some kind of circumstance that you have happening, I really...

encourage you to zoom out and dissect that a little bit, dig into what's causing that. And sometimes it's a mental block on our own part. And all we need is a perspective shift there. And that can clear up a lot of that. But there are also a lot of extenuating circumstances that we as humans tend to deal with because society says that we should. And the easiest example for me to share is...

is the job situation and again this applies over through every fiber of life but

We're not meant to work all day away from our families, come home, we see our kids for a couple hours maybe before bedtime, and then go to sleep, and then wake up and do it all again. And if that works for you, that's cool. If that makes you happy and gives you that joy and that fulfillment, that's awesome. And I am not judging that at all. I am also, I want to be really clear right here, I am not...

Peyton on nine to fives. Because you have to do what you have to do to take care of your family. But amid all of that, if you're just kind of stuck in that tunnel vision, there's a way to look beyond that and to step out of that and you don't have to do that forever. And...

If you're not completely satisfied with what your current circumstances are, use them as a stepping stone to get where you want to be. Don't settle for that being your forever. We only have one life. We only have one, you know, one family, one chance at raising our kids, one chance at building something with our husbands, you guys, like, I don't know about you, my husband's my best friend. And...

There are so many things that we want to accomplish and build together. There's so much joy in building and creating. And that goes, that looks like however, however you want that to look. From building your family, to building businesses, to making nice horses. You can sector that down into...

in the tiny little fragments, but...

Life is not meant for you to be unhappy. God did not design us to be miserable. Men are that they might have joy.

So this is a righteous joy though, right? Like, and I'm not taking this a preachy direction, but this is so much a part of my life, I feel it's important to talk about that the worldly things are not what's gonna bring you the lasting joy. But part of that, it kind of weaves together a little bit in the fact that if you don't get to spend time,

with your family, are you gonna have joy?

So what can we do in the meanwhile to better our circumstances and therefore better our family circumstances? And then this ripple effect of when I have joy, my family has joy, when my kids are joyful, my husband is joyful, everyone around them also feels a little bit of that and it just ripple effects on out, right? And so we have the capacity.

to make our individual circumstances such that we can enjoy what we're doing, be fulfilled, work hard. I'm not saying this is not going to be easy, right? Like it's going to take effort. Everything good takes effort. And if you're going to put in the effort for something, you might as well put it in for your family, right?

I'm going to spend the same amount of time working to make somebody else's dream come true. I might as well shift the direction and make mine come true. Now if I have to work for somebody else along that, along the way, that's awesome. There's nothing, that's currently what I'm doing and I love it. I work for some great people. It's a great company. I have an awesome schedule. I have awesome responsibilities and I really am enjoying what I'm doing.

But this is a stepping stone where simultaneously I'm building my own dream for my family. Right? I want to show my girls that they don't have to live in a box. They can make whatever they want to do work for them. They just have to have that confidence in themselves, that belief in themselves and in what they're doing and the faith that God's going to help them get there. And I want to model that.

them. Right? So that's what I'm doing. And the more, you know, the more we can do this in an affluent way, I love that word affluent, and I'm not gonna get off into that right now because that's a whole other deal, but when we can live our lives like this in affluence, meaning there is enough of everything, there is enough time, there is enough money,

for me and everyone else. There is enough opportunity for me and everyone else. When we live affluently like that, it lifts this ceiling that I think we unintentionally put on ourselves. It kind of lifts the ceiling away and allows us to live fully and so we can serve others. Because by me giving my family time freedom,

I can stop in at my friend's house and say, hey, you know what? I know you're getting ready for the baby. Well, let me clean your kitchen.

That's the kind of person I want to be.

I don't know if, it's not because I love cleaning, but it's because I love my friends, right? I want to be able to serve other people without...

the hangups of, yeah, I'd really love to come help you, but I don't have the time today. Now there are some days we are scheduled, but we need to...

Consciously look at creating time to be the people we want to be So make the time To study the scriptures to go to church To work on your business To spend time one -on -one with your kids to ride your horses. Whatever it is that looks like You get to build your life

And I do want to speak to this too that I understand when you've got to survive and you've got to pay the bills, you've got to do what you've got to do. And you're a freaking rock star for doing what you have to do. I just encourage you that while you're in that time of life to look beyond and begin making plans. Because if you...

see nothing but a brick wall in front of you, you are never going to take that step. But if you can start dreaming and finding... I'm going to bring this stat up again. If you spend 18 minutes a day on one thing, you're then, you're better after a year, you're, I think, I think that's what it is, after a year, you're better than 90 % of the population in that thing. Because society doesn't have the dedication and persistence and consistency.

to pursue that. And so this is where I really love this concept of taking where you are, looking at where you want to be, and adding one thing. Eighteen minutes is...

That's 18 minutes, yes. But if you're working an 8 hour shift, you can find 18 minutes somewhere to...

work on something, to pick on something that you want to add. And you want to know what's cool about this is I've kind of experimented with this myself over the last few years. And when you purposely put the effort into creating time to better yourself in whatever this thing is.

then all of a sudden you have time opening up for yourself other places. You're going to find yourself within another 18 minutes somewhere. And you're going to realize that we kind of stick ourselves in this rat race of life.

and suck the joy out of the things that are supposed to bring us the most joy. Because you're tired from your shift at work. And you come home and sometimes all you want is your own mind. I get that. I don't work at a daily eight hour shift, day after day after day. And I still feel that way. That I come home and all I want is my own thoughts for an hour. And you've got the kids.

wanting to tell you about their day and their singing songs and quoting movies and yelling and giggling and screaming at each other and sometimes it's so overwhelming and it's like, holy moly, I just want my own thoughts and I got tired of feeling that way. I do not want to be overwhelmed at my children having fun. I want to have to to have you know, awesome memories of their childhood and me at the stage of as a mom and I don't want to feel

those yucky negative feelings. And so what I did was I purposely...

identified some things that I want to accomplish that that give me some personal fulfillment and I have picked one or two days a week depending on what it is that I'm working on I've picked those days a week and I've set aside 60 to 90 minutes that I go to my little studio my little office

and that's what I think about. And then when I'm done, I go be with my girls. And I'm not thinking about, you know, the other things and worrying that I don't have the time to sit down and work on this and work on that and blah, blah, blah. If you're like me, your mind's kind of always on it anyways, but that doesn't need to take away from the joy. I've ended up having some of my best brainstorms while I am intentionally playing with my children or intentionally working the horses while the kids ride their horse.

and I whip out my notes, jot them down really quick, my little brainstorm, and then I can just put that away, and it's not taking up active space in the present moment. And so that kind of got off a little bit, and this is why it's rant -trampling, you guys, and if you're here, you'll know that, and I hope that you appreciate it. But these things are also interconnected, and so when you can kind of purposely...

step back and get clear on what it is you want to do. Not only are you going to eliminate the stress, but as you practice this, this is how it went for me. You start practicing this and what other people think of you becomes significantly less important because I'm a good mom and I'm a good wife and I'm actually pretty good at what I do and I can be all those things and I don't care what other people think.

And so that's something that I think is an important perspective to have. And I'm not saying that I'm 100 % like, yes, I'm so good at this. I'm actively practicing this every day because I'm human. And the reason I'm sharing that is because I want to give you maybe a little bit of hope and clarity.

This is kind of a messy process. It's not a perfect clean cut, cut and dry process. But when we can give ourselves that space, it's really cool because then we end up being able to give other people that space as well and allow them their journey. And I think that's really empowering for ourselves and for other people. But...

When we can look at somebody and be genuinely happy, holy crap, they bought a new truck! How good for them! Like, they must be... They must be making some really good decisions. You know, wow, their job must be going really good for them. I'm so happy for them. Now they're able to take their kids to the rodeo. I know they've wanted to do that for a long time. Isn't that a cool perspective to have? And when we can have that perspective with other people, it's easier to have that perspective to ourselves and vice versa.

And as always, working on ourselves is where I feel...

the most change is going to happen outwardly. You have to work on the inside before the outside changes. And so likewise as we go through life there are people that are not going to be as open -minded as you and that's okay. You do you anyways. You be open -minded and kind and compassionate and you know super pumped for other people's successes.

and the people that aren't quite there yet, that aren't, they don't quite have the capacity to be compassionate and open -minded and kind, let them have their journey because...

We're all on our own and it all matters and it all makes a difference and the best we can do is to try to create that ripple. You be the person to throw that rock in the water and start those ripples.

It does have a bigger effect than you realize. And so with that, I just want to thank you all for being here. I hope that you got some nuggets out of there. This has been a really fun thing for me to practice personally. And I've been talking about it with some friends. And it's just, you know, we got to give people the space to do what they're going to do. And we don't know why.

they're making those decisions. We don't know what their home life is like. We don't know what struggles and trials they have or the stress that their job brought them. So if she quits a job and it doesn't make sense to you, it doesn't have to make sense to you. And that's okay because...

it we don't know we don't know other people's circumstances and it's not our job to know and so with that you guys thank you so much for being here i appreciate you all so much

I'm loving having the podcast. I'm loving what I'm working on in behind the scenes. I'm so excited to announce the second part of this launch to you. This first one has been the retreat. Again, we were full and then one girl had a scheduling conflict. So we do have a spot open currently. I'm recording this episode on Tuesday the 18th. So as of this day, I have one spot available.

Amy and I have wanted to do this for a really long time and we finally decided to pull the trigger and make it happen because we want to provide this kind of service to other women like us. Amy and I have worked really hard to put together a system to help ranch women cowboy gals.

moms wherever you fit on that spectrum navigate life in a positive mindset space and it's done awesome things for our personal lives and we just we want to share that with all of you and so of course that's part of where the podcast came from but this retreat thing has just evolved and i am just so excited to be actually

you know, having it come to fruition. So get on the email list for that. Again, part two of the launch is coming. It's kind of my own personal little brainchild. I'm really excited for that. So that's underway. Anyways, you guys are awesome. You guys are why I'm here and love you all and be sure to share, leave the reviews because those help small businesses and podcasts so much more.

then you can realize and just thank you all for being here and until next time don't you dare cut your dowlies on that dream.