One Day I'll Marry a Cowboy...But First I Want to Be One| May 15, 2024 020

Tucker Martin (00:02)
One day I'm going to marry a cowboy, but first I want to be one. That's a quote that I loved all through high school, all through college. And y 'all, it happened.

Welcome to the Ranch Ramblin podcast. I am so excited to have you all here today. If you're new, I'm so glad that you found me. And if you are a loyal listener, thank you so much for sticking around. I couldn't do this without you guys. And it's because of you guys that I'm doing what I'm doing. Ranch Ramblin is headed where it is and I've got some big things coming up in the next couple of weeks. So with that, I guess let's hop in.

In the spirit of ranch rambling, I am all about, you know, taking action and learning new things and dreaming the dreams and making that work and, you know, helping others to find that spark within themselves to step out and do the same. So this episode I purposely waited to record because...

I last week, attended a beginner breakaway roping clinic. Now a little bit of history. I am not a beginner breakaway roper. However, it's been about 10 years since I've roped a calf. I've done a lot of ranch work. you know, Tammy schooled me on the team roping a little bit, but it's been a long time since I have roped a calf. And, like for this clinic had to go out and buy a new calf rope, just so I could, you know, practice. So.

Anyways, I wanted to share this because I cannot tell you how many times I've heard since I've become mindful that this is a thing. Some kind of excuse from moms or wives or even just older girls that write themselves off because it's quote too late. Y 'all it's not too late. Like there's no time limit on.

on what you want to do. There's not some overarching rule that says it's too late to start something new or get back into something or try to do something that you want to do. Just a little reference, I was by far the oldest person at this clinic. I'm turning 30 this fall. I was there with...

There was an eight -year -old boy and then there was a number of, you know, teenage, like middle school age type girls. And so I was, there was a big stretch to my age and, you know, leading up to this clinic, I could tell I was starting to get in my head that was like, my word, I am going to be the oldest person there. Like I wasn't sure. I didn't know who everybody else was that was coming, but.

I had that thought. I'm like, there's no way. Like it's a beginner roping clinic. Like, you know, and I started, I spent about three minutes kind of being a little bit worked up that I was going to look silly to the rest of these kids. I was, you know, would I look silly to the, to Josh that was putting it on. And I was like, you know what? Josh and I have been friends for a very long time. He helped me.

rope when I was in high school. He's a very successful, you know, professional calf roper and I know that he would not think that. I know those kids would not think that because I chose to think that.

Anyways, it was just a really fun experience because I went, I put myself in that beginner situation because that's where I needed the help. I needed to go back to the basics because I, like I said, it's been about 10 years since I've roped calf and, it was fun. I got tuned on. I, you know, got, I got to work on those things with several really knowledgeable people, you know, watching and correcting me and saying, Hey,

You know, this looks good, but, you know, like in breakaway roping, if you guys are not familiar with, the difference, I'm sure most of you are, but I do know I have some listeners that, are not ropers. So if you're not familiar, and when you're up a calf or breakaway, you have a really short rope, it's 21 feet and the calf runs, your horse stops. And that's what breaks your rope off. so the functionality of that.

When you throw your loop, you need to drop your coil so you can throw your slack and help your horse sit down and go on. In team roping, whether you're, like I've been focusing on heading and you are not supposed to drop a coil. You end up with a lot of slack in the rope that you don't need and it causes a really poor handle. So I've been, you know, my mind's been on heading for,

the last 10 years. Not, not, not exclusively. I should, that makes it sound like I should be an expert by now. and Lottie's right here as well. So Lottie, can you say hello? Hello. and I have Sylvia too. Say hi, Sylvie.

These guys are the reason that I stepped out of my comfort zone to start this, you guys. This podcast and everything that's coming up, I can't announce what's coming up next, but you guys, it's because of these girls that I find the courage to do the things that I'm doing. Anyways, so I went from, you know, primarily heading and...

Roping as you can rope on the ranch meaning get the dang thing caught right and so That was a little bit of an adjustment and it was really fun because once they kind of reminded me What I'm doing and and you know to have a professional coach you and correct you and help you get your mind, right? That's priceless you guys. So this is your sign if you want to enter a clinic Go do it. It's not too late

So what if there's gonna be a bunch of young kids there? If anything, you entering this clinic will show those kids that it's not too late for anybody. You know, having kids does not mean you put your dreams off forever. It means they might look different for a minute, but it doesn't mean that what you do stops.

or that I have to and I just I I want to make that really clear because motherhood is by far My best and most highest calling I could I could ever ever undertake and I would not trade it for anything despite any of the you know, it's hard raising kids is hard but

I feel so passionately about being a mom, personally, and protecting our children as a whole and advocating for them. And that motherhood streak in me is so fierce and so strong that I wouldn't trade that for anything. But that doesn't mean that my personal goals have to go undone. I know...

McCray and Amy and I talked about this a few episodes ago, so I'm not gonna dive into that super deep, but I do want to share this quote that really, it gives me the courage to keep going when things are hard. It's by, let me find it, it's by Sherry Doo, and I can always get the gist of it, but I can't get it word for word, so I need to look at it right here. Lottie.

It says, Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. Hi. Like, talk about giving you the chills, right? Like what a divine calling motherhood is. Hi. Hi. But to me, part of that calling of being a mom is teaching my girls how.

to do the things they want to do and showing them that they can be brave and that it's worth trying and that it's worth putting in the effort and that they don't have to live in a box somebody else creates for them. That's my job as a mom. And so part of that to me is making sure that I keep...

my dreams moving. You know, I keep moving in the direction of all the things I want to do. And when I hit one check mark, I add another check mark to the list. So I'm continually pursuing something, you know, and I just think that's, I think that's so important. And what a powerful thing to do for other people, you know, and that's, again, that's part of what,

I'm sorry you guys that I have the kids this morning for the recording, but that's just the way it shook out. If you can just be patient with the little voices in the background. Anyways, that's, you know, that's why I'm here at Ranch Ramblin is I see so many women walking around feeling defeated and that breaks my heart because we're not meant to live a defeated life, you know?

That's not the way the plan is. That's not the way that God intended this life to go. We are not supposed to walk around feeling, you know, defeated and overwhelmed. And those temporary feelings are fine. I'm not saying that the emotions are bad. I just mean there's so many people living in that state of defeat and, you know, overwhelm.

and stagnation and it just it's an it's not it's so heartbreaking to see because we're capable of so much you guys takes a little bit of effort and a little bit of action and that actually brings me to another quote that I I found just this morning but excuse me the direct quote says cowgirl courage isn't the lack of fear.

but the courage to take action in the face of fear. It's by J .H. Lee. And I believe it came, I think that's a book called Cowgirl Courage. I've never read the book, I just found the quote. And so, you guys again, I'm gonna touch back on those emotions. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to feel that overwhelm. And it's okay to feel, you know, temporary defeat, temporary sadness, temporary failure. Amy.

Jacobs just made a really cool post about is it a failure or is it setback? So go check her out. I think she had it on both Instagram and Facebook. So Amy Jacobs, you guys go search it. It's part of her coaching business. It was some really, really good takeaways there. Anyways, it's okay to feel those temporary feelings and stuff, but this,

bite those feelings, the effort and the action to move forward and to, you know, step out beside those emotions, that's what's going to give you the courage. And so it's the same. I just like you. Can you tell this concept has been trending, but you the faith and fear thing, right? You can't have faith and fear can't coexist. You cannot feel the same things at the same time. However,

You can feel, you know, a little bit, you can feel afraid, but faith is when you have the courage to go on, even though you feel afraid. And that's where the faith comes in. Making those decisions to take the action and to do the thing, even though you're afraid, that's going to get you, for one, the most fulfillment inside, but for two,

you're actually going to get some phenomenal results by doing that. And when you do stuff, despite the emotions that you're feeling about the thing, meaning, you know, in spite of the fear or the lack of confidence or anything like that, you actually increase the confidence in yourself. And I wish Amy was right here to ask her this, but I remember her, she's got a little worksheet or something.

Maybe we were just talking about it. Anyways, talks about how you can do some things to begin to build self -confidence. That's not like a big drastic thing. It's little stuff like if you say you're waking up at 730 in the morning, then don't hit snooze. Just wake up at 730. If that's a stretch for you, then you don't have to hop out of bed and go run a marathon, right? Like just be up. Just don't hit snooze.

And when you continually honor those commitments you make to yourself, the confidence you have in your own self is going to increase. You build a trust with yourself. And I know that kind of sounds a little bit weird, but it's super true. So no matter what it is, if you say, you know, all right, I'm going to read, I'd like to read this book every day. Like that's one of my goals with our book club is I...

I need to listen to our book for 15 minutes a day because I've, that's been something I've let kind of slip through the cracks the last couple of weeks. And I don't like that. I love the books we study. And, so to help me get back on the wagon like that without feeling the overwhelm and burning myself out, run myself ragged, I've set my goal 15 minutes. So if I set my goal, excuse me.

If I set my goal to listen or read this book for 15 minutes a day and I follow through with that, then each day that I follow through, it becomes easier and easier. And then all of a sudden I can bump it up to 20 minutes and then I can bump it up to 30 minutes and then I can read the whole chapter because this current book has long chapters. Sometimes it doesn't take that long, but that's something I have to do for myself and that can apply to anything.

You know, and my advice here is start in very attainable, sustainable chunks. Because a lot of the times we feel really, really motivated one day and motivation does not last. You have to find a way to motivate yourself every day. Dedication and persistence is what lasts. And that's what you're gonna want to work on and that's what you're gonna have to pull on.

as you're trying to change some habits in your life. But my advice here is start small and maybe it is just waking up five minutes earlier. You know, if your goal is that you want to give yourself those extra couple hours in the morning before the kids are awake or whatever that is, just start by, you know, getting up five minutes earlier instead of the whole hour and a half earlier. You know, don't jump right to 5 30 a if you're not used to waking up till nine.

You know, that's a big adjustment for your body. So do it in five, 10 minutes at a time. And then follow through because again, as you follow through, you'll build that consistency in yourself, that confidence in yourself will increase and then things become easier and easier because you have that confidence in yourself. I mean, imagine how you'd think about things if you knew that you were gonna do it. Like if you knew that there was nothing less than a positive outcome or...

you know, that if just because you made up your mind, you were gonna do it. Like how easy would that be to make that change? So kind of have that in mind as you start changing some habits and just start with little small baby steps and then build. And the key here is don't let yourself stagnate because the small steps are comfortable. When the small steps become easier to obtain, then make them bigger steps and add to those.

because otherwise comfort will stagnate you and you end up not seeing the results that you know you can have because you settled for the long -term comfort. I'm not saying to be miserable, but I'm saying get really honest with yourself and you know, are you putting off some things because it just makes you a little bit uncomfortable? You know? And if so,

I would really challenge you to look at why that is and look at how you can kind of push the envelope with that and figure out some place to implement something to combat that. And one of my easiest and probably favorite things to do that I'm going to recommend to you that I do personally is add a positive audio to your day.

If you're like me, you have a ton of stuff going on and it's a lot more likely to happen if you can put the air pod in your ear and listen while you clean the house or while you're driving from here to there or I'll even listen to things while I'm saddling the horses, while I'm feeding, different things like that. But that's somewhere that would be a really good place to start if you're feeling

like you're kind of postponing some things or putting them off. And even if you're not sure why, if you just feel a little bit of that stagnation, starting with adding a positive audio to your routine doesn't take any extra effort from you, but it actually helps your mind in ways that you don't see happening until one day you're like, holy crap, the whole way I think has changed. And...

That feeling you guys, that's hard to beat. When all of a sudden you are faced with a challenge that, you know, even six months ago you, a year ago you, three years ago you, it would have absolutely, you know, stunted and set back. And you hit that challenge and you're like, hey, you know what? Here's XYZ that's coming out of this. And that's why I'm excited to move forward. And...

When you hit that spot, there is no feeling like that. And that's not to say, you know, it takes constant effort. This kind of growth and change in thinking takes, it takes work. I mean, it takes practice, but the outcome is so worth it. And for me, you guys, when I start to feel a little bit discouraged or overwhelmed or...

Any of the things that tend to show up that halt forward progress. This is where having that dream, that big goal, that why, the thing that fires you up, that makes you want to find that persistence, that dedication, that is why that is so important. And this is where, again,

that dedication and persistence comes in. I don't remember who said it, but I hear it and see it around all the time, but motivation is temporary. That's why you need dedication, because dedication is sustainable. Motivation is awesome. That's what helps get you started. That keeps, you know, the fun energy of staying fired up, but dedication is what you need to persist. And ultimately persistence will get you places.

far beyond the rest of society typically because they don't have that. It takes a little bit of willpower, a little bit of try, you guys. And if we're being honest, that's something that we're seeing kind of failing in society is that hard work ethic, that try factor, you know, the whole bear it down and freaking spur the hair off it. That's something that if you can find within yourself,

you will be successful. It might take you longer than you think, but that's okay because that's exactly how it's supposed to happen. And when you can find that try in you to bear down and ride the hair off of something, you're going to make it happen and you're going to see that success. And the timeline itself doesn't really matter because it's who you become along the way. And, you know, how cool is that that we have?

the capability within ourselves and within our minds to change the way we think and to find that streak of iron in us and you know roll on with it. And I don't know about you all and we each have something different but just to give you a little idea of what I'm talking about when I say the dream you know that that why you gotta have that dream in order to know the direction you're going. If you don't know the direction all of your effort is pointless right?

Tucker Martin (23:07)
So this actually brings me back to how I started this with one day I'm going to marry a cowboy, but first I want to be one. And as I mentioned, all through high school, all through college, I loved that quote. I don't even remember where I saw it, but I was like, that's what I want. And I wasn't putting off, you know, finding the cowboy per se. But that meant in the meantime to me that I was working on becoming a hand. And...

you know, working on my horsemanship and finding those opportunities to do the thing. And every decision I made was in that direction. And that is how powerful having that dream is. Is every decision I ever made was with the idea that I would marry a cowboy, that, you know, this is the type of life we would live. We would raise our kids this way. And so in the meanwhile,

Every job I took, it was in that goal, in that realm of I was becoming a cowboy also. And so I rode the horses, I would day work for people. I didn't take a job at waiting tables necessarily in college, I rode horses. And I would sit down with...

You know, I had Kendra on the podcast at the beginning of the show and I would sit down with her and we'd talk about project horses and we would, you know, scroll through sales ads and be like, all right, now look at this. You know, this would be a good project because XYZ. This is what we would work out like a business plan for all of these horses. Even if I wasn't going to buy one. I mean, I was broke as heck in college, but those conversations, those conversations with her, from the business aspect.

All of the cults I started with my dad, you know, his knowledge that he passed on to me. My mom always cheering me on. All of these things, everything led to this decision of me being a cowboy, me marrying a cowboy, and now here we are raising our little cowboy family, right? And that's the power of the dream, you guys. If you can keep that in mind, you can keep that vision of what you want and have...

you know, the dedication to make the decisions that get you closer to that, that is such a powerful, powerful thing.

Tucker Martin (25:41)
You gotta have that direction. And you guys, every piece of my dream involves something with my girls and my family. And when I look at them, and I think that if I can continue doing the things I'm doing, if I can persist, if I can have the dedication, I, if nothing else, I will show them that it's possible, and it's possible to be happy.

while you do that and you don't have to settle for somebody else's idea of what you should do. You build your own life. I don't have to fit in a box and neither do they. And that's why I do what I do because I get to show them and other women, other kids, other people that are watching us live our lives are wondering what we're doing and I want to show them that what they want to do is possible.

If they can think it up, it's on their hearts for a reason. And I believe God put us here to accomplish things and learn and grow and create the lives that we want because of him. And I just love that I have this little corner of social media that is growing every day. And I'm so thankful for that because if I can cause any sort of a ripple for anybody else that might pull them out of a slump or...

or inspire them or maybe give them just that teeny little bit of push or tough love or encouragement or inspiration, whatever it is. I hope that by being here, it reaches the people that it needs to reach. And I have the faith that it's doing that. And so thank you all for being here. I cannot wait to tell you all about the launch that's happening. I have a few more.

things to put in place before that is ready to announce. And I'm just super, super excited. And I'm so thankful for all of you. If anything in the podcast today hit you, I would love shares and reviews here on the podcast. Also social media interactions help a lot more than you realize. And even just word of mouth recommendations are absolutely amazing.

I cannot wait for where this is going and I'm so excited to have y 'all here along for the ride. Don't you dare cut your dollies on that dream.